01-06-2014, 03:53 PM | #1 |
Currently @ MLO Territory
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Location: Under the Shadow
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Joke of the Day
Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down , I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my kayak which I keep next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Kayak, that I noticed a small hole in the side just above the water line. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
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Team: Disbanded You only have one chance in this life...make the right decision(s)...so you don't regret it
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01-06-2014, 03:58 PM | #2 |
Tail Chaser!
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Murrieta
Posts: 627
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That was great thanks!!!
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01-07-2014, 07:55 AM | #3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Menifee
Posts: 2,509
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LMFAO
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01-07-2014, 08:12 AM | #4 |
WildernessWanker
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lancaster, CA
Posts: 345
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Absolutely awesome! This made my morning.
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01-07-2014, 09:24 AM | #5 |
Team Get $$
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 841
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Just what I needed. LOL!
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01-07-2014, 10:26 AM | #6 |
Lucky Fisher
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: too far inland
Posts: 366
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awesome! but what happened with the wife? ROFL....
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01-07-2014, 10:55 AM | #7 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Cali
Posts: 120
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Forget the wife, the hole in the kayak takes priority..
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01-07-2014, 02:07 PM | #8 |
Currently @ MLO Territory
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Under the Shadow
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Group of Kayakers spend weeks planning the perfect going away camping and fishing trip for Mooch
Two days before the group is to leave Mooch's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Mooch's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the friends get to the camping site only to find Mooch sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday! Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said "do what ever you want." Here I am!
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Team: Disbanded You only have one chance in this life...make the right decision(s)...so you don't regret it
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01-07-2014, 02:21 PM | #9 |
Baitless on Baja
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Vista California, Gonzaga, San Quintin, Asuncion, Mag Bay
Posts: 4,250
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NICE
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01-07-2014, 02:53 PM | #10 |
WildernessWanker
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lancaster, CA
Posts: 345
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I'm loving the jokes!
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01-07-2014, 03:51 PM | #11 |
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 91
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Too Funny!
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01-07-2014, 04:59 PM | #12 |
Currently @ MLO Territory
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Under the Shadow
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A California senior citizen drove his brand new Red
Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down 110 fwy, pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him. No problem!" Thought the elderly gent as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" He then pulled over to the side of the FWY and waited for the Trooper to catch up. Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man, looking very seriously at the Officer, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a California Highway Patrol Officer. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, Sir," said the Officer.
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Team: Disbanded You only have one chance in this life...make the right decision(s)...so you don't regret it
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01-07-2014, 07:02 PM | #13 |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Tehachapi
Posts: 81
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Thank You.
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01-08-2014, 08:51 AM | #14 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Cali
Posts: 120
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"Hand cuff me to the bed and do whatever you want".... classic!! hahah
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01-08-2014, 10:35 AM | #15 |
Lucky Fisher
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: too far inland
Posts: 366
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ROFL! Both the new jokes are funny as shit. You sir, got 2 thumbs up! I told a friend to tell the CHP that he needed to take a shit when we got pulled over one time.....
should have used the wife excuse. LOL
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01-08-2014, 04:07 PM | #16 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Huntington beach
Posts: 594
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Well done frank the last two got me laughing..
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01-09-2014, 08:34 AM | #17 |
Currently @ MLO Territory
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Under the Shadow
Posts: 2,290
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For those of you who are married
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Team: Disbanded You only have one chance in this life...make the right decision(s)...so you don't regret it
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